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A strapless dress can be very alluring and attractive but you need to be confident wearing it.

Practice your every movement for the Ceremony and afterwards, while wearing a sample dress and have someone else count the number of times you consciously or even unconsciously adjust the garment.

As a Celebrant, I have seen a variety of dresses and all brides look absolutely stunning, but my humble observation is that ‘off the shoulder’ (OTS) strapless dresses will slip up or down and will require frequent, if not constant adjusting even if well fitting and supported by the correct undergarments.

I had one bride let go of her groom’s hands during the vows so that she could adjust her strapless dress.

I am told that fashion models overcome the problem in photoshoots, largely by great design in dresses, very specific undergarments and most significantly, the use of ‘glue’ but even then, they are still restricted in movement.

So that while OTS is fashionable, every time I see a bride or bridesmaid, wearing one, the frequent tugging on the dress can become very distracting (for her & others) and could even impact on your wedding video and photographs.

Imagine turning to your beloved groom to take his hands and suddenly your dress distractingly slides upwards on your arms; and later when you are dancing or go to throw a bouquet, you discover that you have to quickly adjust the dress to avoid embarrassment.

The only way to reduce the movement of the dress, I am told, even if it is a perfect dress with correct undergarment fit, is gluing, pinning to other garments and restricting movement.

In contrast, even a small amount of shoulder support/covering eliminates all the problem and can add eloquence.

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Like Christmas puddings, there was a custom of baking charms (symbolic trinkets) into wedding cakes, but guests need to be warned of this to avoid choking or injury. Probably for both hygiene and safety, this was replaced with a ribbon surrounding the cake so that the charms can readily and easily be removed without risk. There are ten traditional cake charms:

• 1. Anchor, airplane, car or carriage, for travel & adventure
  2. Clover or Horseshoe for good luck
  3. Flower for new love
  4. Heart for true love
  5. Highchair for the arrival of children
  6. Purse for wealth
  7. Ring for the engagement
  8. Rocking Chair for long life
  9. Wedding bells for the marriage
  10. Wishing Well so that all dreams & wishes may come true

You can find suppliers on my Helpful People page.

That is a very personal decision and I’ll explain why.

The ‘Rule of Thumb’ created by a marketing campaign in the 1940s was that two months salary should be spent on the engagement ring and it certainly worked to boost the profits of jewellers but as the ring is more about emotional than income, other consideration should come to play.

The three major considerations should be:

1. Your partner’s expectations
2. Your Budget or ability to meet those expectations
3. Your partners taste in style and jewellery

The goal is to find a balance between the three.

An interesting side consideration is that statistically, those who pay $thousands or even $millions have shorter marriages, so the higher the ring price, the shorter the marriage whereas marriages where under $5000 was spent on the ring, tend to be long lasting.

My summation on that is that where appearances are placed above the relationship, the relationship will get into trouble but if the love and devotion are stronger, the love will be lasting.

So the best outcome is to buy a ring that you can afford but which is  to your tastes.

You kiss whenever you want to.

Traditionally the Kiss occurs just after the vows, since you will technically be married at that point.

However there is still the ‘signing’ (sign Certificates)  and few other bits and pieces to be enjoyed and so I usually suggest that to avoid confusion,  and to enable a smooth flow of ceremony, when there ceremony, the kiss has more meaning at the very end when I introduce you as a married couple for the first time.

But again, it is your ceremony, so kiss whenever you like, though it is wise to remember that all your guests are watching 🙂

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More questions answered on my webpage where you will find lots more interesting and useful information including:

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Subsection 45(2) of the Marriage Act sets out the vows required to be said by parties to a civil marriage ceremony (where the authorised celebrant is not a minister of religion).

From 9 December 2017, the vows were changed to reflect the curent definition of marriage:

• I call upon the persons here present to witness that I, A.B. (or C.D.), take thee, C.D. (or A.B.), to be my lawful wedded wife (or husband, or spouse).

This allows marrying couples to make a personal choice about the terms to be used in their marriage vows that best reflect their relationship.

The term ‘husband’ can refer to a male marriage partner, and ‘wife’ to a female marriage partner, regardless of the sex or gender of the person saying the vows.

The term ‘spouse’ can refer to a male, female, intersex, non-binary gender or transgender person.

Subsection 45(2) requires that each party say to the other, in the presence of an authorised celebrant (who is not a minister of religion) and the witnesses, the words:

These words must be included in the ceremony. They are the minimum words which must be exchanged by the couple to ensure that they fully understand the nature of the ceremony and that they are marrying each other.

Balloon or Bubble Releases are a symbol of freedom and aspiration to encourage the couple’s spirit to bloom and grow, but there are legal restrictions on the type and number of balloons as well as environmental concerns.

If however the balloons are released inside a hall or chapel, they can be captured after the event and kept as mementos without environmental harm.

An environmentally safe balloon option is to securely tether the balloons so that they fly upward to form a floating arch, initials or a word, or perhaps a shape (heart)  that will stay for the entire event.

Another environmentally safe balloon option is the use of dancing inflatables.

A great alternative to balloons, is a battery operated bubble blowing machine that release bubbles made from harmless detergents and water and dissipate on impact, leaving nothing behind. Machines are available cheaply from party suppliers and from online stores.

There are many More questions answered on my webpage where you will find lots more interesting and useful information including:

• Poetry & Readings
• Wedding Questions & Answers (over 200)
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• Weddings Ideas
• Funerals – Questions and Answers
• Music for Funerals & Memorials
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You can include one or more family members in a variety of ways.

Firstly, keep them involved in the decision  so that it is an inclusive action form the start. Ask what each would like to do as each might already have an idea but be shy about coming forward.

Adult members can be one or two Witness.

Others could be  Usher, Reading, Maid /Man of Honour, take party in a ring warming or even make an epic introduction of at the end of the Ceremony.

Other options are, a keepsake flower presentation to the couple, with the flowers representative of each parent’s personality, so that both bunches of flowers combine in a vase as one beautiful display but add 1 artificial flower of each type to be kept for anniversaries.

You’ll find a few other ideas here:

• Unity – Candle Lighting. 
• Unity – Family Medallion ceremony. 
• Unity – Hand Tree. 
• Unity – Jigsaw.. 
• Unity – Rose petals. 
• Unity – Sand Ritual 
• Unity – Spices. 
• Unity – Stones, flowers & Objects. 
• Unity – Tree or garden planting. 

There are so many variables. I’ll try to narrow down the options.

POPULAR VENUES

If it is a popular, commercial, wedding venue it is not uncommon to book 12-18 months in advance, unless there is a cancellation. Some may even require longer.

At some popular sites, depending on the size of your party, many larger venues can hold more than one function at a time.

PARKS & HALLS

However, if it is a park, beach, community hall or club, you may be able to book in only weeks or perhaps a few months in advance.

BACKYARD

For a back yard weddings, that is entirely up to you.

SEASONS

Spring tends to be the busiest time, followed by Autumn and Summer and finally Winter and so if you want a Winter wedding, you will have more options and flexibility and maybe even a lower price.

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You will find a list of options for Venues on my Venues tab.

That depends entirely upon what you have included in your ceremony and any extra activities you have planned.

The actual Ceremony may run from 20 minutes to an hour, however you might need to book for set-up & preparation time, any extra time needed for  photographs, greetings etc. or even for an on-site the reception etc.

Time should also be allowed for dismantling and removal of the set-up.

The quickest set-up time I have had is about 5 minutes and the longest was about 40 minutes where decorations and equipment had to carried across a field.

Once your Ceremony script has been agreed upon, I can advise you on how long it will run, how much set-up & take-down time is required but you will be in control of other aspects such as the time your vendors (photographer, decorator etc.) require.

Proper legal advice should always be obtained however my understanding is that you may make an application for divorce in Australia if you or your spouse is:

(a)    an Australian Citizen;

(b)    “domiciled*” in; and

(c)     an ordinary resident of Australia and has lived in Australia for the last 12 months.

*“domiciled” means that you or your spouse regard Australia to be your home country.

A marriage certificate issued by an authorised body of an overseas country is evidence of marriage.  An “authorised body” of an overseas country is an organisation that is authorised to perform marriages within that country for example, churches or other religious organisations.  You must provide a copy of your marriage certificate with your application for divorce.  If your marriage certificate is issued in a language other than English, you must provide an English translation of your marriage certificate.

In some (unusual) cases there may be two Courts, for example, the Family Court in Australia and a Family Court in another country that would have a right to determine the issue and annul a marriage.  However, there can be in those circumstances a question as to which of the two countries has the superior right to deal with the divorce.  In certain circumstances there are different consequences in relation to the issues that arise in property, spousal maintenance, child support and child custody depending on which country has the superior right and determines the matters on the breakdown of a marriage.

The Law regarding the solemnisation of marriages is  The Marriage Act 1961, as amended.

Regulations prescribe the practice and procedure including penalties, regarding The Marriage Act 1961  are mentioned 48 times in the Act. The Marriage Regulations 1963  (up until 31/3/2018) and Marriage Regulations 2017 (from 1/4/2018);  can be viewed online or downloaded from ComLaw.

The Guidelines On The Marriage Act 1961 For Marriage Celebrants is a guide for Celebrants as to the interpretation on The Marriage Act 1961.

The Marriage Act 1961 is the national law.

The Regulations prescribe the practice, procedure and penalties.

The production of past Marriage and/or Divorce Certificate goes toward confirming that status but also serves to establish your identity.

Each party to a marriage must give their authorised celebrant documents that establish their date/place of birth and identity. In most cases people use the name recorded on their birth certificate, meaning that name will be recorded on all documents they give their authorised celebrant, and in the NOIM.

If a party gives their authorised celebrant documents recording different names, the authorised celebrant should check the party has provided a sufficient chain of documents that both establish their identity and link the names. The case studies below demonstrate such a chain of documents and how to use them.

Under Paragraph 42(1)(c) of the Marriage Act, each party to an intended marriage must also make a declaration before the authorised celebrant as to their conjugal status and belief that there is no legal impediment to the marriage.

The declaration must be in accordance with the approved form, which is available to all authorised celebrants on the Attorney-General’s Department website.

The declarations must be made before the marriage is solemnised. This should occur as close as possible to the ceremony, even if this requires the parties to make a special attendance by the authorised celebrant.

The Marriage Act does not permit the declarations to be made immediately after the ceremony.

It is an offence for an authorised celebrant to solemnise a marriage unless both parties have made their declarations of no legal impediment.

It is also an offence for a party to knowingly give a false declaration.

The conjugal status a party gives in the declaration should be the same as that given in item five of the NOIM unless the party was waiting for their dissolution of marriage to be finalised at the time of signing the NOIM. In that case the conjugal status on the NOIM will be ‘married’ with some reference to the steps that have been or are being taken to dissolve that marriage, and the conjugal status given in the declaration will be ‘divorced’.

Paragraph 3 of the declaration deals with establishing that the party is of marriageable age and the party should be careful to cross out whichever statement is inapplicable. The authorised celebrant should initial the deletion in the margin. Where a party is a minor, his or her date of birth must be given. The authorised celebrant should at this stage, if this has not already been done, check that a section 12 order has been obtained from a court and check that the consent or consents required under sections 13 or 14 of the Marriage Act are adequate and in order (see Part 8.6 of these Guidelines for further information on marriage involving a minor).

If an authorised celebrant has reason to believe that there is a legal impediment to a marriage, or that a marriage would be void, the celebrant should not solemnise or purport to solemnise the marriage. To do so may be an offence. This is the case even if the marrying couple has signed their declaration, but the celebrant has reason to believe that declaration may be false.

The most common question following a suicide, is ‘why’.

I have tried to answer that question in this poem. If you know of anyone who is troubled, you will find a list of counselling services on my helpful people tab

You ask me why

(copyright: Lou Szymkow, December 2017)

I know you didn’t hear me, I didn’t tell you all,
I knew you couldn’t understand
And besides, I didn’t want to burden you all
So I didn’t tell you everything,
it was my burden to struggle through.
I am not a coward, you know, I just couldn’t find a way to undo,
why I had carry this burden, this inhuman demand.
How could you have helped me, when I myself couldn’t understand?

I tried to fight daily but it just wouldn’t go away.
I knew I couldn’t impose on you and so knew I had to go away.
My life was often wonderful and there were times when I felt blessed.
I had no thought of dying, just of finding rest,
My body was a vessel, my thoughts and brain in disdain,
I just couldn’t live a life, without ending this wretched pain.
It was just too much to bear, this suffocating, darkest air.
but now it is such a relief to see the sun once more
I am free at last, there is sunshine evermore,
So remember me as freedom, in everlasting joy,
I lived and loved, worked and played, I tried to do it all.
So think of only the best of me, and feel the warmth of a better deed,
Keep me in your memories, and let loves gentle thought always be your creed

In the USA the flag is folded 18 times to symbolise the original 18 states of the USA. It is a very precise and specific ritual.

That ritual of course does not apply to Australia but Australian military do have a specific Australian practice.

During military funerals, families may place a flag over the body or casket however, nothing is to be placed over a flag which traditionally must stand alone.

There is a specific instruction for Australian Military personnel on the folding of the Australian National Flag into a square and the packaging of that flag into a presentation case to be given to the official mourner. 

In regard to non-military funerals, according to the Australian National Flag Protocols the National Australian flag can be used to cover the coffin of any Australian at their funeral. The upper left quarter of the flag should be draped over the ‘left shoulder’ of the coffin to represent the heart, and the flag should be removed before the coffin is lowered into the ground, or after the service at a crematorium.

It is a celebration and formal announcement of your intentions and so there are speeches (as many or as few as you like) and like all celebrations, you can have a cake.

It can be as simple as a small gathering or a huge formal affair.

Traditionally the bride’s parents would host the party, the Groom’s parents are the next option,  but commonly this has changed to parents of both the Bride & Groom contributing, or even the couple themselves; so really anyone can host it.

The ‘host’ is the one who organises and finances.

On rare occasions, it is the bridal party (Maid of Honour) who hosts the show, but as the Bridal Party may not yet be confirmed and the Maid of Honour, will be in charge of others gatherings later, it is probably for others to manage the Engagement party.

The Engagement Party would usually be held within 3 months of the actual proposal and some months (at least 6) before the wedding, so the Engagement party should be closer to the proposal than it is to the wedding day.

It is entirely a matter of choice and practicality as to whether you have one but an engagement party announces your love to the world and your intention to marry.

An engagement party is also an opportunity to invite guests that might not attend the wedding.

You can even have your Celebrant attend for a commitment ceremony and ring blessing.

Wear the ring on your right hand or have someone (bridesmaid, mother etc)  hold it for you.

If you want to wear your engagement ring for the reception, you can put it on after the ceremony.

For Jewish weddings keeping with tradition, it’s fine to wear your engagement ring and then exchange stone-free wedding bands .

The wedding band is usually worn closest on the ring finger of your left hand, so that it is closest to your heart.

***

More questions answered on my webpage where you will find lots more interesting and useful information including:

• Poetry & Readings
• Wedding Questions & Answers (over 200)
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• Weddings Ideas
• Funerals – Questions and Answers
• Music for Funerals & Memorials
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The day after my mother’s funeral, I had to go back to work. I felt alone and sad but had to get on. I rushed out to my car, placed my things on the seat beside me and then looked up as I started the engine.

There on the windscreen was a single and very beautiful, perfect white feather.

Sitting alone in the car, I started to smile & to cry. On her anniversaries, and beside her grave, I have seen the same. A single white, perfect feather.

In an international group on Facebook today, others mentioned similar experiences. Finding a single white, perfect feather.

I wonder how many others have had this same experience?

UPDATE: in the first 10 minutes of this post, I had around a dozen people give me similar stories.

As many or as few as you like.

Just make sure you have two witnesses who are over 18.

Beyond that, it is entirely up to you,  and your venue (and maybe budget) but let me know the numbers so that I can adjust the ceremony accordingly.

If you have only the 2 witnesses in attendance, the ceremony may be under 20 minutes but if you have 200 guests or more, you will want the ceremony to last longer than the time it took to seat everyone, and so you may wish extra readings or rituals to engage everyone in the process or at the very least, make sure everyone can see and hear what is happening.

Most have about the same number at their ceremony as at their reception but some have a large attendance at their Ceremony but a private reception while some have a private ceremony and huge Celebration.

Ask yourself, what you will enjoy most and then check your budget.

There may be little or no difference in the cost of your Celebrant, but the trimming will have a cost.

You have chosen to announce you love for each other to the world, so be confident in how you will do that.

The Australian Government, Department of Human Services, has information available on “What to do following a death” and specific on Assistance

The Australian Government does have payments, counselling and other services to help people adjust after someone close to them has died.

• What happens first
• Insurance policies, funeral plans and Wills
• Notifying us
• Notifying other people and organisations
• Removing someone’s name from mailing lists
• Social media accounts
• Assistance from us
• Financial matters
• Support for you after someone has died
• Other government and community support services

There is a lump sum or short-term payment when your partner, child or the person you were caring for has died.

• When an adult has died
• When a child has died
• Claiming
• Manage your money
• Payment and Service Finder

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More questions answered on my webpage where you will find lots more interesting and useful information including:

• Poetry & Readings
• Wedding Questions & Answers (over 200)
• Wedding Songs
• Weddings Ideas
• Funerals – Questions and Answers
• Music for Funerals & Memorials
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PETS – furry, feathered or scaled family members: How do I include my ‘pet (furry, feathered or scaled)’ family members in  my Ceremony?

Including furry, feathered or scaled family members can be a great experience and depending on ability, the involvement is really left up to imagination.

The most common inclusion is to be an escort, ring bearer, usher, or guard.

Most can certainly dress up for the occasion.

If it is a horse, the bride and/or groom could arrive or depart in a carriage, or on its back if safe for the horse.

Large dogs can also pull carriages.

Arachnids and reptiles can be ring keepers (as long as they don’t swallow the rings), though some could be ring bearers.

With any such inclusion, just be certain that there is a ‘butler’ or ‘carer’ to look after their welfare so that you are not distracted, and that all, especially the special guest/s, is/are safe and well at all times. (crowds can be stressful)

• TIPS:
  • toilet beforehand and offer nothing to eat or drink just before the ceremony but have a treat and water available as a reward once their part is done however the reward should be consumed away from the bridal party to avoid any accidents.
  • Have a safe quiet place as a retreat

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#Naming; #Celebrant; #celebrant; #Birthday; #Nepean Celebrant; #Wedding; #Naming Ceremony; #Congratulations; #A Life Celebrant; #Lou Szymkow; #Western Sydney; #Australian Celebrant; #Celebrant; #Wedding Celebrant; #Funeral Celebrant; #same sex marriage; #Nepean Celebrant; #wedding; #bride; #funeral celebrant; #Family Celebrant; #St Clair Celebrant; #St Marys Celebrant; #Penrith Celebrant; #Funeral, #Funeral Celebrant, #Nepean; #Celebrant in St Marys; #Nepean Celebrant; #Wedding; #Naming Ceremony; #Naming; #Celebrant St Clair; #Civil Celebrant; #marriage celebrant; #Family Celebrant; #St Clair Celebrant; #St Marys Celebrant; #Penrith Celebrant; #Sydney Celebrant; #Venues; #The Wedding Expert; #Wedding Songs; #Music for Funerals

Yes of course.

If you wish to include prayers, or other religious content, I am very happy to oblige.

I am a Christian but am not a Priest. I do however have an understanding of many rituals and am therefor able to include variants of many differing religious rituals and/or can gain the cooperation or assistance of a relevant minister of religion where necessary. I recently wrote and conducted a Ceremony in which I coordinated two ministers of differing religions and conducted the Civil Ceremony. It was absolutely wonderful.

BTW: I am registered as an Authorised Marriage Celebrant and so am very pleased to conduct a ceremony for any eligible two people in love.

Love is Love and I have the best job in the world!

https://www.startlocal.com.au/personal/celebrants/nsw_sydney/A_Life_Celebrant_3587906.html

Definitely!

Even if the weather charts predict fine weather, it is a wise couple that has a contingency plan in place.

It may not be needed but this is after all, Australia where whilst the climate is generally moderate we can experience wind, extreme heat, cold etc.

Remember too, that February is the hottest month of the year when 20 minutes in the sun can cause burning; that there is plenty of rain in Spring; strong winds in August, and it can get pretty cold in June.

Yes of course.

Culturally appropriate rituals can of course be included, provided they are not illegal and are within any restrictions of the selected venue, however alternate venues can always be considered.(Not everything has to be inside a chapel.)

Let’s discuss these at our meeting.

More questions answered on my webpage where you will find lots more interesting and useful information

Mailing the invitations about 2 ½ months (8-10 weeks) before the wedding date and setting the RSVP deadline for 5 or 6 weeks before the big event is sensible.

Typically, your venue and caterers will want a head count one month before the event and so requesting RSVPs 5 – 6 weeks in advance gives you one or two weeks to finalise the guest list.

You will however of course have to book you Celebrant and Venue well in advance of this.

More questions answered on my webpage where you will find lots more interesting and useful information

It is vital that an authorised celebrant is satisfied that both parties to a marriage genuinely consent to the marriage. If at any point a celebrant is unsure of the genuine consent of either party, he or she should not proceed with solemnising the marriage.

An authorised celebrant might have been satisfied that a party was mentally capable of understanding the nature and effect of the marriage ceremony before the ceremony was due to be conducted, but might form a different view because of the party’s conduct during the marriage ceremony itself. In such a case the authorised celebrant should not proceed to solemnise the marriage until satisfied that the party is mentally capable of understanding the nature and effect of the marriage ceremony.

Other consent issues that arise on the day of the marriage ceremony can include, for example, duress or a party to the marriage who is drunk, intoxicated, under the influence of drugs, or otherwise appears to be in an altered mental state to an extent that this could impair their ability to consent to the marriage.

The witnesses also must be sober as they  must attest to the validity of the Ceremony and they cant do that if not capable of understanding events.

More questions answered on my webpage where you will find lots more interesting and useful information including:

• Poetry & Readings
• Wedding Questions & Answers (over 200)
• Wedding Songs
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For that we have to go to section 44 of the Marriage Act.

If the children are under the age of 18 years they cannot sign the marriage certificate because, a marriage may not be solemnised unless at least two persons are present at the ceremony who are, or appear to the person solemnising the marriage to be, over the age of 18 years.

These two are the persons who will sign the marriage certificates in their capacity as the witnesses to the marriage. When completing the marriage certificates, the witnesses to the marriage should record their names in full, including any middle names.

So, if they are over the age of 18 years, and acting as either of the two witnesses, they may sign the certificate in that capacity but not if under 18, and no additional signatures are permitted (not even on the back of the certificate.)

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No, not at all. This is very much a modern and perhaps temporary fashion.

Historically the bride cuts the cake to symbolize the loss of her virginity but now Bride & Groom cut the cake together as one of their first acts as Husband & wife.

The bride holds the knife and the groom places his hand gently over hers as a symbol of support and guidance.

They then cut and remove the cake slices before the groom tenderly feeds a slice to his bride to demonstrate his commitment to providing for her.

The Bride then reciprocates to demonstrate her commitment to nourish him.  This tender and romantic act of affection and symbolic promise to forever assist & care for one another.

This symbolic act has however somehow evolved into couples shoving the cake for a bit of fun however, rather than a first act of unity, it might result in the couple first argument as husband and wife.

Once the bride and groom have fed each other, they then share their wedding cake with their guests as a gesture of good luck and affection.

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As long as you are otherwise eligible for marriage, You must lodge a Notice of Intended Marriage (NOIM) at least one month prior to, and no more than 18 months, prior to the wedding ceremony, unless a shortening of time has been obtained from a prescribed authority.

Since 9 December 2017, marriage in Australia has been defined as ‘the union of 2 people to the exclusion of all others, voluntarily entered into for life’.

The right to marry under Australian law is not determined by sex or gender.

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You don’t have to be an Australian citizen or even a permanent resident of Australia to legally marry here.

Many people visit Australia on a Tourist Visa to marry in our beautiful country, and so do a fly-in/fly-out, ceremony and honeymoon.

I cannot offer immigration advice but you will find information on Visas including a Marriage Visa, on the Department of Immigration and Border Protection website.

To be legally married in Australia, a person must:

• not be married to someone else
• not be marrying a parent, grandparent, child, grandchild, brother or sister
• be at least 18 years old, unless a court has approved a marriage where one party is aged between 16 and 18 years old
• understand what marriage means and freely consent to marrying
• use specific words during the ceremony
• give written notice of their intention to marry to their authorised celebrant, within the required time frame (not more than 18 months before and not less than 1 months before).

As your Celebrant, I will help you understand these requirements.

More questions answered on my webpage

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We all grieve in our own way. Though we will all experience the various stages of grief, our personal experience is unique, and a funeral is an important part of the grieving process that aids understanding, drawing a line that defines a loss and so can be a starting point in acceptance.

Children grieve, and that grief can be just as soul defining as it is for an adult.

The level of comprehension however depends on cognitive and emotional maturity.

To some, a viewing or funeral may be perceived as a game where the loved one inexplicably doesn’t move while another who has already experienced behavioural issues, might be wracked by the guilt of disobeying the guidance of a loved one, such as a father, and the realisation that there will never be an opportunity of forgiveness.

Age, maturity, education, beliefs (if formed), relationships, and life experience, therefore, all have an impact.

A child, like many adults will have a very limited ability to understand, to comprehend, and express their emotions, memories, and the pain of loss, and so may ‘act out’ grief in a variety of behaviours.

Some will understand that death is a part of the life cycle, but others may be traumatised by the realisation that a loved one is in a shiny big box with a sealed lid or lays still in the open coffin without a response.

In her article published on 29^th January 2018, entitled How To Include Young Children In Funerals; Rosalie Kuyvenhoven wrote that educational psychologist John Holland, who has researched the impact of grief and funerals on children, concluded that a funeral is a family rite of passage and important in the grieving process. John Holland was quoted:

“Don’t force them, but it’s important for children to feel involved. The golden rule is to explain what it’s about, in terms they can understand – and give them the choice.”

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You will find lots more answers to questions on my webpage at these links:

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I have added significantly more information to my webpage, but to make access easier, have created new tabs and drop down menus so that you can find what you are looking for quickly and easily.

Feedback has been great so far with people from around the globe sending compliments.

Still lots more to add including lots more pics and colour instead of just text, but please let me know what you think so far?

Explore my webpage but this is where I have already added or significantly expanded information:

• Naming Day Poetry & Readings
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• Funeral Directors expanded
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https://www.alifecelebrant.com.au/about/wedding-over-200-questions-answered/

Love is love, and love is a beautiful thing

Celebrants across Australia and gearing up for the rush

Last month my wife and I celebrated our 40^th Wedding Anniversary and this weekend I is my 60^th Birthday and what a great birthday gift it is to know that same sex couples can now marry and share in the same happiness as well as rights that my wife and I have enjoyed for forty years.

So much has occurred in that short period of history. It wasn’t long ago that homosexuality was a crime in Australia.

It was in 2013 that the High Court of Australia found that the definition of “marriage” in the Australian Constitution includes same-sex unions, and in 2014, the Howard Government amended the Marriage Act 1961, to include a definition of marriage as being “between a man and a woman, to the exclusion of all others” and so excluded same sex couples but then here we are in December 2017, and the Parliament of Australia has followed the will of the people to amend the law to enable Marriage Equality.

Unlike de facto rights, a marriage offers equal protection under the law for the couple because with a marriage, you are immediately the next-of-kin, with protections under the law in regard property, assets, inheritance, insurances, medical care and so much more.

This is a great leap forward for Australia.

I realised a long time ago that regardless of race, colour, creed, cultural origin, or sexual orientation, that we are all just people and that discrimination is simply inconsistent to my Christian belief. When Jesus said, ‘love one another as I have loved you’ (John 13:34-35), he did not say ‘unless they are sexually diverse, or of a different race or colour or culture’.

I and many others, have already been asked to start preparing Ceremonies.

As a moderator in a discussion group of over 800 celebrants within the Australian Federation of Civil Celebrants, the largest single, national association of Celebrants in Australia, we have been overwhelmed by the number of people wanting to become Celebrants, join the association or simply and wonderfully, wanting to get married.

Exciting times are ahead.

There will an adjustment to thinking for some. I had a conversation with a friend yesterday whose thoughts were that marriage equality is immoral, but in 5 years time we will be wondering what all the fuss was about and in forty years time, we will all be celebrating the Ruby anniversaries of those who marry in the next month.
Love is love, and love is a beautiful thing.

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If you would like more information about this topic, please contact Lou Szymkow at 0457 00 1922 or email at lou@alifecelebrant.com.au.

With the changes to the Marriage Act occurring this week, I will be updating some of the Questions and Answer on my webpage. If unsure about any question, just give me a call.

https://www.alifecelebrant.com.au/about/wedding-160-questions-answered/

From the office of the Attorney General: Getting Married

The following information is contained on this page:

• Marriage equality

On 7 December 2017, the Australian Parliament passed the Marriage Amendment (Definition and Religious Freedoms) Act 2017 to change the definition of marriage and provide for marriage equality in Australia. The right to marry in Australia will no longer be determined by sex or gender.

The Australian Government is progressing arrangements for marriage equality to commence quickly. Further updates will be advised on this website as they occur.

https://www.ag.gov.au/FamiliesAndMarriage/Marriage/Pages/Getting-married.aspx