Having a Bestman or even two or more, at your wedding is not compulsory and even a gender is no longer a given, but having made a choice to have a Bestman, here is a process that may assist.
Step 1: make a list of the duties (including expenses & interactions) to be undertaken
Step 2: consider character, relationships (with yourself, bride and bridesmaids) and skills, make a list of contenders e.g. best friend, brother/sister, cousin, Dad, son, etc.
Step 3: cross out anyone who could not reliably perform or undertake those duties but if you cannot narrow the list to less than two, maybe have two or more
Step 4: talk to the remainder on the list to gauge:
- their agreement to being on the list
- availability to perform the role
Step 5: Review Steps 2 & 3, and by now you should have a choice
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